He's Gone, Now What?

Hello again!

The time in between my posts are becoming greater and greater. Some days I feel like I could make 5 or 6 different posts if I had the time, and some days I don't even turn on the computer. I guess that's okay for now.

I went to visit lovie last week, as I mentioned, and on Sunday we had the Mobilization Ceremony (which was super awkward), then I headed back home to pick up little man. It has taken a little getting used to being back in mommy mode. I really did enjoy the few days I had with just lovie and being able to relax. But now that I'm back home I realized that I was so looking forward to seeing him that I didn't really even plan anything for once I got back home. So this week has been a lazy week of laundry, Psych episodes, and the jewel mania game that I am addicted to on my phone. The first few days were a little difficult getting little man back into the home schedule, but he is back on it now, and thankfully that means I get at least 6 hours of sleep at night. Wahoo!

I am now trying to focus on what I should do next. What is my M.O. per say. Yes I have to take care of little man, but I need something else too. I do enjoy being a stay at home mommy but, especially this week, the days are getting a little too monotonous for me and I just know that my body and my mind need a little bit of a challenge and something to break up my day.

I looked into a couple of jobs but I really can't go back to work full time, or even part time, right now. I don't want to put him in daycare all day and working part time wouldn't pay for the daycare so that just wouldn't make financial sense. I made myself a to-do list and I am scheduling some time to hang out with friends, but it just isn't exactly the same as having something that I have to do that also makes me feel good (ie- a job). We'll see though. I knew it was going to be like this and I know it will take time for me to adjust, I just don't want this whole year to go by with me being a lazy bum. Obviously being a mommy is not lazy work but for myself as an individual I struggle with being challenged and keeping my mind occupied. I want to feel like I am doing something productive and purposeful. I guess it's easy to lose sight of that when you change diapers all day.

I told myself I would make a positive experience out of this deployment, and that is exactly what I plan to do, I am just not exactly sure how I want to make some of that happen yet.

xo JC